Sometimes I feel like there is a compettition going on in motherhood support groups. I mean even ones that promote themselves as all including and no Mother is better than another types.
I am a member of several different online communities for various reasons and when I was becoming a Mum I joined a few groups for support and community. One was a Nicu group because my son was born a bit early and that makes a person feel very alone. There are some others I joined because I breast fed my son and I had a doula. One theme I seem to see in the groups is overcoming.
I used to think overcoming was an admirable thing. You know, you got delt a crappy hand but you soldiered on in the parenting deparment. Lately, I feel like fellow Mums are trying to outdue each other’s struggle stories. I mean a Mum reaches out for support or kind words and the comments turn into one horrible story after another. I mean if I can relate to someone’s situation I share but I try to focus on how a situation can be improved. When I read through other’s comments it seems like they are saying I Overcame More so You will be Just fine.
While for some that may in some way be motivating to me it feels like we are discounting other’s journey in Motherhood. I have had my troubles, but I have no desire to out due another Mum’s painnor struggle. I guess I feel as though we(mothers as a whole) are selfish in our support of each other more often than we might realize.
Anyhow, this made me think long and hard before commenting on anyone’s cry for understanding and community. I want to only offer words that help others to move into a better place and not hold them back by leading them to focus on 9ne situation verses another.