…the birds are chirping outside the window and sunlight is streaming in…
…my kid is babbling to himself and I wake due to my inability to pretend I can’t hear him through the baby monitor…
Mornings are difficult for me. Early morning and late evening seem to be the times the dark moodiness sets in. My bed is either completely inhospitable or it saps all my will to do more than blink and breathe.
Insomnia keeps me awake when I should be sleeping and after finally conquering my inability to sleep all I want to do is snuggle down under the covers and hide away from the world. I know I am not the only one, but having to fight it everyday sucks! I have to continually remind myself that I am a Mum and I am no longer only responsible for myself. I am absolutely Crazy in Love withbmy son, but my brain tries to sabbotage me every chance it gets!
It could be the rain here lately that adds to the gloom and desire to sleep all day, but mostly it is the sheer exhaustion of being a Mum on depression meds. I am happy and doing well, but my happy and well are low key compared to many. But there I go again comparing myself to other Mums!
I am constantly waring with myself over how I am different from the “normal moms” out there. HA! NORMAL! I need to delete that word from my personal vocabulary maybe I would worry less.
Anyhow, once I force myself out of bed the beautiful smile of my son makes leaving my warm cacoon worth it. I find reflecting on the joy that fills my soul when I look into his little blue eyes helps me find purpose and strength I didn’t think I had.
So I guess my advice for today is find that little thing to hold onto and use it to leave the prison of your bed behind and make something of your day.
YOU’VE GOT THIS!